I think at times there is a misconception out there that twins, if not identical, still have similar looks and tastes. The girls, however, are definitely very different from each other. They really are just siblings who happened to share the womb at the same time. Pacifiers versus thumb-sucking, for example. As soon as Miss D was able to reliably get her thumb into her mouth and keep it there, there was no turning back and she has a callus on her right thumb to prove it. D had her pacifiers and would request one every once in a while when she would see her sister sucking on one. But in general, she would suck her thumb and hold the pacifier in her other hand instead.
Miss T, on the other hand, needed her pacifier for nap time and bedtime, otherwise she would scream herself silly. If I had given it to her during the day she would have been happy to suck on it 24/7. Luckily, I did make that a rule early on that each pacifier is relinquished upon leaving the crib and only returned when it is time to sleep. That made this transition a little bit easier at least.
Last week the girls "threw" their pacifiers away in the "trash". They had a great birthday present from their aunt that I hadn't opened for them yet because I needed a pump to blow them up. They are inflatable horses to ride and bounce on. I blew them up upstairs while my husband was busy playing with the girls downstairs. I fixed a small trash can up with a regular shopping bag to catch the pacifiers so they wouldn't get yucky (the girls' doctor recommended throwing them away for real so I wouldn't be tempted to cave, but that seemed wasteful and I am made of sterner stuff than that [or at least I am when I feel I am doing it for their own good]). Then I gave the girls their pacifier. I let them suck on them for a minute or two. I brought the horses downstairs and explained to them that to get the horses they need to throw away their pacifier and they would never get them back. I'm sure they didn't actually understand the deal they were making with me. They both eagerly tossed their pacifiers in the trash and played with their new toys.
That night D crashed out as usual with her thumb in her mouth and T cried for almost an hour. It was not fun to sit there an listen to her beg for her pacifier but it was for the best so I did not cave. I finally stood next to her crib holding her hand while she fell asleep. She slept the whole night through without waking up. The next day at nap time, we were out and busy and running them around all morning and got back a little late. She passed out easily because she was so tired and only fussed a minute or two for her pacifier. That night she fussed a little and requested her pacifier a couple times during our bedtime routine but fell asleep without problems.
Since then she has only had the occasional problem getting to sleep and she only asks for the pacifier every once in awhile. The process went so much better than I had expected. A few nights before I took them away, T woke me up twice during the night because she couldn't find her pacifier. I was really dreading taking them away because I thought she would be doing that a few times a night and taking forever to get back to bed. But there hasn't been any of that, and she falls asleep just fine when she does wake up at night. Hurray!
Things I think that helped:
--Having a consistent bedtime routine
--Letting her be the one to throw it away so I could remind her that she did it, not me
--Reminding her that she has a horse she can ride instead
--I touched on that she was a big girl now and that pacifiers are for babies but I didn't want to stress it too much because I was afraid of meeting a lot of resistance or regression with all the big girl changes that will be going on in the next few months (potty training, toddler bed, more independence in general)
So there you have it. Success and with relatively few tears!
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